What is going on in this man's mind? Genius, or criminal insanity? WE tell YOU what to decide!

So I'm looking in the news today and I see this stuff. See, now the thing about stuff is that it reminds you of your grandparents. It sits there all day collecting dust, and then you lock it in a room and forget about it.

Ah, rambling; 'tis been a while since I've done that. As you can see from the opening paragraph I've spent the last couple months not working perfecting my Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Cosby comedy sequence. You see, Mr. Cosby has been a man of many interesting movies, television programs and yes, even a story book writer. However his 'learn to read book' "Little Bill" featured more inuendos and hints at his own manhood than most children should really know, a trend featured throughout most of his work.

Keep in mind that every title used is actually a real title, and not fabricated...just the rest of it.

Starting in 1972, Mr. Cosby began subliminally revealing his real self. The movie made in this year was titled, "Man and Boy". This was followed in 1974 by, "Uptown Saturday Night". 1975 saw the film, "Let's do it again" and then the audacious movie, "Mother, Jugs and Speed". By this stage Bill Cosby through the titles of these films alone had shown himself as a pedophile (Man and Boy), user of Prostitutes (Uptown Saturday Night/Let's do it again) and a drug taking, breast crazed, Jerry Springer candidate (Mother, Jugs and Speed).

But this line of disgusting disgust doesn't end there. To further prove his use of prostitutes, Bill Cosby made the film, "A piece of the action". This film was then followed by "Top Secret" and "California Suite". Not only did Cosby use prostitutes, he hired out rooms in California hotels and kept everything top secret. Who's saying the 'Darndest things' now eh, Cosby?

From 1978 to 1993, things become quieter before Cosby made the movie "Meteor Man"; possibly some sort of sexual alter ego. In 1994 he made the movie "I spy returns". Not only was Bill Cosby allegedly accused of all of these things above in this article, but also of spying for the Russians. A horny, treacherous Russian spy is a cause for disaster.

Bill Cosby has been quoted as having the ability to touch people's lives. We here at Feasties have uncovered for you the reader and anti-government philanthropists what else Bill Crosby might be touching.

As Agent Mulder said, "Keep watching the skies - and Bill Cosby".

But Cosby isn't the only celebrity that should be on your list to keep away from, because you should in fact stay away from all of them.

BROWN!? HERESY! TREASON!

You think that what you see is David Hasselhoff's real chest hair? How about this; he sold his own mother for a chimp, shaver and bottle of glue. I think you can work this one out.

Pierce Brosnan you ask? He is as horrible as no one would ever believe...he played James Bond without the Sean Connery lisp! That's like Godzilla not being green and plastic, or Chuck Norris being talented.

Food for thought, or thought for food? You decide. Frankly I'd give some thought that is free for food which actually costs money. But that's not important.

The thing that's important is that if you see Bill Cosby, make sure you don't let him get your stuff. Like the saying goes, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade". You just better hope that life gives you rocks, because you're going to need something to throw at him.

Feasties once again helping you squint your eyes and look sideways beyond the collar of your overcoat, before tipping your hat and pulling out two Uzi's towards the moral degenerates that plague our fine restaurants.

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